


Explanations, Theories & Missing Scenes

by HolisticObsessor (Talraven)



Series: The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everything [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016), Torchwood
Genre: Explanations, Interlude, M/M, Theories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talraven/pseuds/HolisticObsessor
Summary: The explanation dump for context in the universe ofi don't need drugs when your lips are like poppies.





	1. I: Dirk and Priest's Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> PS: The Show Bible I mention here is a real thing, in case you didn't know. Just Google it, and you'll find it for sure. And if the Universe is fucking with you and you can't, then drop me your email; I'll send you a link of it.
> 
> PPS: I only realized after posting this that there's some very slight spoilers for the actual Chapter 3, mainly regarding Priest and Dirk's past relationship. But I'm very lazy to delete this, just to post it again later, so urgh. Sorry?

Ages of Dirk and Priest in Relation to Significant Events in the Show 

**Dirk Gently / Svlad Cjelli**

| 

**Osmund Priest**  
  
---|---  
  
Born in - 1980

| 

Born in - 1974  
  
Recruited into Blackwing - 9

| 

Recruited into Blackwing - 14  
  
*Diamond Incident in 1996 - 16

| 

*Diamond Incident in 1996 - 22  
  
Escaped Blackwing in 2001 - 21

| 

Age When Dirk Escaped - 27  
  
Age in 2017 - 37

| 

Age in 2017 - 43  
  
_*This will be important later because I like to dig my own grave - aka, I bullshitted up some story on what happened and it's lame, but whatever_

According to the DGHDA Wiki, Priest got Dirk into Blackwing. But I can’t find the source for this. It’s linked to a Tweet by Max Landis, but the Tweet only actually mentions Bart? Of course, there’s another, earlier Tweet in which Max Landis mentions Priest caught ‘all of them back in the day’, but the ‘all of them’ wasn’t specified, like Bart was.

In addition, he said Bart was 13 when it happened. I can’t imagine Bart and Dirk being the same age? Same age _group_ maybe, but not the same age. And while Fiona Dourif may in reality be younger than Samuel Barnett, in the Dirk Gently Show Bible, Max Landis mentions that both Dirk and Bart were young, orphans and _voluntarily_ recruited into Blackwing.

Now, I can imagine Bart surviving all on her lonesome up to the age of 13 with her ‘only gravity is constant for her’ thing, but I can’t imagine Dirk being able to do the same, seeing as part of his holistic powers is that he attracts _very bad situations_.

Therefore, I like to think that Bart is just slightly older than Dirk, and that Dirk was recruited at age 9, before he could really get into any sort of _real_ trouble on his own. At the same time, assuming that Priest actually _was_ the one who recruited them, I can only conclude that he was very young himself when it happened; kids trust other kids, right? It makes more sense in how he managed to get _Bart_ to _voluntarily_ join Blackwing. So, I’ve made the age difference between Dirk and Priest 6 years, and Priest was 15 when they first meet each other.

Priest’s backstory will be further explained in later chapters - like _who in the heck would let a 14-year-old join the fucking CIA_ \- but for now, this is the gist of their ages in the context of **i don’t need drugs when your lips are like poppies**.

* * *

The Relationship Between Svlad and Priest Explained 

While a lot of people interpret Blackwing’s treatment of Dirk and the projects as very, _very_ bad, based on the Show Bible, I personally think it was simpler than them being abused by Blackwing. Scott Riggins was in charge, and he’s described as, ‘A born optimist with a cheery demeanor, Riggins is a True Believer’.

I don’t think he would’ve sanctioned any _terrible_ things to happen to the projects, especially with how he treats Dirk and the others in the show itself. My theory is that Dirk was primarily traumatized by the fact that he himself didn’t, and _still doesn’t_ , understand what he can do, and being ‘tested’ for his powers - which _always_ ended in failure seeing as he needs to _interact_ with the Universe to actually _get_ any hints from the Universe - made him feel useless and insecure. Plus, since he mentions in Season 2 that he was usually kept by himself while he was in Blackwing, I would imagine that he suffered mostly from loneliness and isolation. Two of the worst things a child at age 9 (or anyone that could be described as _young_ ) could ever have to experience for _years_.

That said, I’ve made Dirk’s story just ever more tragic by coming up with the very _false_ assumption that Priest had befriended him while he was in Blackwing, amidst the testing and the disappointments. It’s all strictly platonic, and Dirk used to think of Priest as something of an older brother. Until, of course, Blackwing starts understanding more about the roles that the projects play in the holistic view of things, after finding more subjects.

Dirk goes through puberty around the same time Priest starts mastering his ‘hunting’ skills, and a lot of confusing emotions start festering in Dirk, on top of Blackwing’s utter neglect of his psyche. Eventually, he realizes what Priest actually _does_ for Blackwing, and learns that not everything is about making friends and being nice. At the same time, he struggles with his growing attraction to the closest thing he has to a friend, someone he’d thought of as _family_ , even.

I’ve come up with a personal theory of Dirk’s ‘abilities’ - _perhaps_ , it might make sense that just like how he attracts organized chaos, he also attracts _holistically chaotic people_ to him. All part of the Universe’s plans, of course, but that’s spoilers for the fic.

It’s part of my theory on _why_ he’s project Icarus; he’s _not_ Icarus. He’s the sun that Icarus gets burnt getting too close to, and that’s what the other Holistics are, essentially - thus, why he believes that he always has to end up alone, because anyone that gets too close to him, usually ends up getting _hurt_ \- or simply fed up with all the bizarre things that keep happening whenever he’s around. Hence, why his symbol is a circle within a cage. Dirk is the circle, the sun. The cage is Blackwing’s attempt at utilizing his abilities.

But I digress; Priest definitely cares about Dirk, but at the same time, he’s bound by his duty to the Universe. Which is essentially to bring on the ‘ouch’ in douchebag (I know that’s lame and doesn’t even rhyme, shh). He’s the Universe’s muscle, or one of them, anyway, and he _likes_ it. He’s a sadist, through and through. Of course, Dirk being Dirk, he likes to think that Priest _isn’t_ , because it’s _bad_ , right? But Priest keeps proving him wrong. Cue more conflicting feelings as he grows older in Blackwing’s ‘care’.

**Tl;Dr:**

**Their relationship could be considered incredibly unhealthy because Dirk probably only likes Priest because he’s the only other person he’d known around his own age while he was growing up with Blackwing, and also the only one besides Riggins that was nice to him. It’s like choosing between stabbing yourself to death or just dying slowly in agony; it’s really not a choice at all. And Priest thinks he only cares about Dirk because the Universe says he has to, but at the same time, he’s got a** **_job_ ** **to do, so thanks for that, Universe.**

Of course, this is all under the _also_ false assumption that Priest himself is also a holistic something. Forgot to mention that. Sorry?

Anyway, HOW DOES NORTON FIT INTO ALL THIS?

Well, ladies and gentleman, the answer is very simple; _I have no idea_. I haven't gotten that far yet. But if you've noticed, Norton is sort of like us. As in, the audience, watching the show. He basically knows just about as much as we do, depending on what we've watched or read of Max Landis's Tweets (thanks, also, because, _vague_ much?). The only difference is that he's got his own truck of baggage lugged along with him, and he's going to _do something_ about what this so-called universe everyone keeps talking about thinks its doing to his sweet, cinnamon roll of a doppelgänger because he _very well can_. And if he gets to fuck a hot piece of ass in the process (read: Priest), then _whoop-dee-fucking-doo_ _._ Because I also like to think that that's the sort of person Norton is.

I made up a lot of backstory for him, too, which we'll be reading more of since the whole fic is in his POV. Which is a lie I never mentioned in the tags. Did I say Dirk and Priest-centric? My bad, we really only see a lot of Norton at first. Also, whatever Torchwood references that you don't recognize, don't worry; it's because they're all pulled out from my arse. I've taken so much creative liberty with this that I'm half-expecting to be dragged through lawsuits, but well, it's _fanfiction_ for a reason, right?

That's all, though. Like. All I can think of for now, anyway. I'm hoping I've got this all covered, but there're gonna be other Blackwing Projects appearing later in the fic which aren't exactly canonical besides their Project Names. I apologize for any future confusion. Norton's already killing me about it. He hates everyone in DGHDA besides Dirk and Priest. Lie; he sort of hates Priest, but you can't really hate someone you'd bang, given the chance. #sorrynotsorry

PS: The reason Priest insists on calling Dirk Svlad is because he misses the person Dirk was while he was at Blackwing. It's his way of hanging onto a ghost of what used to be. It's tragically romantic, and purely fictional. I'm just addicted to angst, god damn it. It’s definitely not the same reason Ken does it (who thinks Priest does it for the same reasons he does) which is to discourage Dirk’s desire to be who he wants to be as opposed to who Blackwing wants him to be (read: a tool they can use).


	2. II: The Beaver Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Off-screen events in the context of [Chapter 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721311/chapters/37095669#main).

**THE HIVE**

The Hive arrived in 2017 shortly before Norton had. It soon chose Angaries, Oregon as a base of its operations mainly because of the homing beacons the beavers had been sending out to space throughout the years, but also because it's remote and easy to hide in, and the small population nearby was enough to power its nasty spaceship without raising suspicions. An accident on a farm? Someone getting lost trekking up the mountains? Aged citizens dying ‘naturally’ in their sleep? No one bats an eye at these deaths. 

It also just so happens that the Hive had abducted some rich businessmen’s kids to extort money to ‘fund its exploits’ on the way there - one of whom was Kenna Dent’s father, who had subsequently hired Dirk through the agency’s website - since yes, the Committee is stingy, and well, it’s not like aliens don’t need to eat, and who would ever think to find them in the middle of a small town in the USA known for its UFO lights?

Anyway, from Angaries, the Hive had also hired other minor aliens (the one at the gas station, the one that took them from the car crash - because aliens _are among us_ ) to track down Norton but they ended up following Dirk instead because Dirk looks like him, and because Dirk is _Dirk_ , he’d guessed that they were connected to the kidnapping of his client’s daughter, thus the events that had led up to the beginning of the fic.

Meanwhile, the Hive was being an asshole, bullying the beavers just because it could. At least until Dirk and co. finally got to Oregon.

** THE BEAVERS **

Okay, so, alien beavers came to earth some hundreds of years ago? And crossbred with the local community, living in peace and harmony and occasionally sending homing signals out into space - the UFO lights - in case any of their fellow beavers were still lost out there.

Fast forward to 2017; they’ve somehow ended up making a semi-permanent home in Angaries, Oregon and their tranquil existence is threatened as they face the dangers of getting hunted down to extinction by poachers, losing more and more of their natural habitats due to human activity, and dealing with freaking global warming - also a byproduct of humanity. So, of course things just have to get worse for them when the Hive comes into the picture and decides to use them as punching bags to let off steam.

Fortunately for them, Amanda and the Rowdy 3 just happen to be passing through on their way to Colorado, and accidentally saves some of them from getting killed by the Hive’s hired help. Stuff happens, talks are had, and Amanda obviously decides that they’ve got to help them when they ask.

**THE ROWDY CONVERSATION WITH PRIEST**

Amanda and the Rowdy 3 were tracking down the spaceship when they bump into Dirk and co. on the road. Because of the spaceship’s ghost-engine, the Rowdies hadn’t realized that half the smell of the food they were following was actually _Dirk_ , because Dirk’s scent had been absent while he’d been re-captured by Blackwing - which they didn't know had happened, they'd just thought he'd gone missing - so when his scent had come back, they hadn't recognized it, because it's also _different_ , for whatever reasons.

When Priest confronts them, Amanda gets a vision of Priest helping Dirk in a significant event that will occur in the future; because of this, she stops the Rowdies and him from getting into a serious fight, and _words_ are had. Priest reveals that he’s getting a feeling the Universe doesn’t want Blackwing around anymore, and Ken calls at that moment to demand what’s happening in Oregon and also to tell him that Bart's starting to actually try and kill him.

Priest promptly tells him to fuck off, and Ken swears vengeance, and then the beavers’ leader finds them and tells Amanda that it had seen Dirk and co. getting abducted by the Hive’s people. More words are had before they proceed to find the Hive’s ship and properly plan an attack.

The spaceship is basically a flying saucer with metal legs - the Rowdies and Priest somehow manage to damage its legs as the Hive starts it up and starts moving, and they have a short confrontation with the Hive while the spaceship is on autopilot and walking off like it’s Howl’s Moving Castle, and then when Dirk pulls the break accidentally on the bridge, the legs malfunction completely and Priest and the Rowdies destroy them, which resulted in the spaceship falling over.

The Hive then abandons its fight with them to confront the root of the problem, finding Dirk and Seb, and the rest happens as in Chapter 6.


End file.
